My Feeling back-now-forward

 

Hi, this is me again, I abandoned my not-so-beautiful blog.

I wrote some, but then I left it, now I will continue that one but I will explain it with the concerned condition.

This was written at 24 Dec 2014. 16 : 11

“I still couldn’t believe with was I going through to this so far.

If I recalled one back year. In this month one year ago, It’s officially announced if I was accepted as a master student in this environmental study major. Yes. one step closer!!! One step Closer with my dream!!!

My dream is I wanna go to Japan, life in Japan and study in Japan.

Eh? what’s the relation between I was enrolled in PSMIL Unpad and going to Japan.

Hmm... there’s one.

This PSMIL Unpad has a program, called Double Degree Program regarding environmental study, one in Twentee Univ, Netherland and the other one in Mie University, Japan. Fortunately I enrolled for DD Mie Course. Then... Yeay!!!! It’s only one step again!!! One step until I reach my dream!!!

Month by Month has passed, I don’t want to say this but, finally I made very good improvement in my college, you can say me maybe I am a student who got very good result in my academic…. |”

OK. that’s the ending.. at that time I seriously broken into pieces until I couldn’t continue my write.

I will continue what the reason then, this time, my mental condition feel better than last time I wrote.

Here we go..

“Yes, me. I made improvement on my academic result. I did everything seriously. I try to be selected for DD candidate who’s allowed to get double degree and live in Japan for one year.

but destiny told it ways.

In the middle of my study, there’s a chance to get short course to Tokyo University, unfortunately just my friend who has been chosen and not me. I ever post it in here read me

Then, I feel my self ruined. I try to explain that too in that post.

I am telling everything and I am healing myself then I focused on my goal and reset up my mind.

You know, it worked! at that time I just laid my self to Allah destiny, then few weeks after…. my lecturer offered me another program to stay in Japan for 40 days in MIE UNIVERSITY.

OMG, Allah proved me that I’ve to be grateful for whatever that I have.

And I officially landed my self in Japan land on October 29. 2014. I will post that later.

But you know what, 41 days next after, I’m back home to Indonesia and guessed what?

The deadline for applying DD was so close with my arrival date!

And I didn’t prepare anything yet!

Um, tbh, actually I already knew about that when I almost depart from Indonesia to Japan. At that time, I was called if the deadline is a time when I was in japan.

Like an egg who’s laying on the edge of the thorn. I’m gonna die. Bye bye my dream.

You know why, it’s because my planned has ruined, or it was not according to the plan.

TOEFL test. crappy, heck, dammit. bloody howl.

I failed again. first I thought the TOEFL test that I took just before I went to Japan will pay success for me, but it wasn’t.

I’m crying, I just regret my self for not studying hard or didn’t took the TOEFL test long time before I went and get the qualified score. STUPID ME.

But I promise my self if my journey wouldn’t go like this, hey-ho! I will going to Japan, I’m not supposed to be sad, am I?

Then after I arrived in Japan, I try to lobby whoever who attach this DD program both in Indonesia and Japan. Thanks godness I have second chance. Everyone support me.

Even my Supervisor in Japan insist me to always studying English. But you know, I think I poorly could understand English. How can I… the one who get course in English before but still not passed, could learn English by my own self? alone?

I think it was really impossible.

Then, you know, I ever feel embarassed, because I caught up when I watch ‘Kindaichi-Anime’ instead of study English. “Sensei, trust me, I studied! just take a bit rest because I didn’t understand anything T_T”

I owe my sensei’s support.

In Japan, I also owe big help from my Indonesian friend in Mie (PPI MIE) who take deep pray for my succeed in TOEFL. Love Them A Lot.

And the 08th of December was coming,

it means I have to back to Indonesia.

You know, my spirit still not decrease at that time, while me in Japan, my friends in Indonesia always support me, even Adella (remember who went to Todai) really helped me a lot.

She registered me to take another TOEFL test that held before the due date of examination for DD program.

I really owe her help.

Gunawan (ugun) also help me to cheers me up to follow his ways to get another source of funds just if I was left and didn’t get the scholarship.

I owe one also from him.

And Also my classmates who always support me when I have to do e-exam (septa, wimal, wati,kang indra also.)

December 09th 2014.

I arrived in Indonesia around 08.00 AM. I picked up by my family, I directly to my brother in law’s office to get documents for my interview for another fund (scholarship). He prepared everything.

I also owe a lot from him and his family.

10.00 a.m : I take the examination such as interview and such until 06.00 PM all in a day. and I really tired.

My families still waiting for me until finished that, I even didn’t the ‘welcome acting’ that I should shown.

07.00 PM : I give the bag that I borrow from my senior back.

07.15 PM : I and my family heading to my mother’s home in my Home Town.

I owe my family helps.

in 10.00 PM finally I arrive in my other home, she was sick at that time, but everyone really excited waiting for me.

until 11.00 PM I gave omiyage then I sleep.

You know? in the next day I have to back to Bandung to prepare TOEFL test.

TOEFL test will be held in the day of tomorrow 11/12/2014 and the one and only available for me is one in Jakarta.

Yes, I’m not joking. after today back to Bandung, the next day, I went to Jakarta for that test.

In Jakarta even kang suryo help me to show the test’s place.

I owe him another help.

the result will come one week after and I really want to passed my test this time.

While I ‘m waiting for the result, there’re several test for DD candidate ;

psychology test in the next Tuesday. starting two days from morning to evening.

CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW TIRED I AM?!

So I thought I will not make anything maximum.

Ok, it was OK. I did that test too, and it looks like that I got high score too, you know everyone thought I'm clever but yea, actually I'm not sure enough.

Now today is Friday.

One week after my TOEFL test.

I call the language center for several times and finally they emailed me.

they told me that I have XXX score, it means I didn’t pass again and can not be the DD candidate.

I know it was just a little more to reach qualified score, but I don’t have any time again.

Just like my heart was cut into two pieces, I really want to dig my grave and hiding in the earth.

I really disappointed for that.

I wanna cry but I can’t, Adel and kang indra were beside me at that time, I don’t want to make them worry too much for me. Even Adel’s eyes seems teary. OMG. No. I-AM-FINE-GUYS. And I just laughed and sometimes joking, pretend to cry, and complain.

I think Adel know me so well, as we both Japan lover. So she accompanied me to take an early dinner, just to forget this matter. Thanks so much. I owe lot of things from her, maybe without I aware.

In the next day… in the next month…

I cursed my self. I regret my stupidness, I complain to God because he sent me to Japan in the time that I need to prepare for reaching one year living, not short time visiting. I regret why I didn’t change my postion for sakura program (that held only 8 days) before I took the 40 days program, so I will have many times for preparation. I regret why I was chosen to be this 40 days program then I trouble my self for long distance studying, late for exam, and not study in the class with my friends, because that time is our last semester together. I also feel to blame one of my friend is a must because he always complaining in the wrong time when I did my hard work and he just pretend to be nothing.

My GPA was not required!!! You don’t have to be clever, you don’t have to be ontime in your assignment, NOT AT ALL! as long you still have not passed TOEFL you still STUPID INDEED!

I HATE THEM ALL!

I HATE ME!

I think EVERYTHING GOES WRONG!!

WRONG! and WRONG!

Yea, it was really, really hard to forget it.

WHY?

If you don’t know me just opened my previous post to see how targeted I am to reach my dream.

But… Slowly I try to face it, Have to fade away…

This is have to be ended soon.

I have to move on and continue my life.

3 Months later..

I aware, I‘m awake.

How can I blame my destiny to God, to Allah?

How can I blame Allah?

How can I turned to be stupid like that?

The chance 40 days leaving Indonesia to Japan is the greatest chance that Allah give to me.

I shouldn’t be forgetful like that, I shouldn’t be stupid like that.

I have to beg a pardon from ALLAH, ALLAH always take care me in this life.

I have to thankful to ALLAH.

I really shame on my self, I just concerned to a dream – only a wish,

I forget, Allah has set my destiny.

Allah give me that I need not what I want,

I need to know Japan, and I need to feel the happiness for knowing living in Japan.

It’s only 40 days but he gave me everything that I need. It means a lot for me, then How can I???

Ya Allah forgive me. astagfirullahaladzim…

now I know, this is my ways, this is my fate, my destiny, my journey that will be different from my friends.

but at least Allah allowed me to be THE FIRST person of MY CLASS who study in MIE,

I am the first from ALL.

Now, I just need to continue this journey, I will follow Allah’s rule that have been created for me.

I will write another history.

Though deep in my heart, idk why but I think I will reunited with my friends in Japan. Soon. Amin.

Now, this is. The new me.

please pray for me, and I will always try to make proud for the everyone who loved me.

This is my life. My journey. and this is me. Nova Dewi Lestari.

 

PS :

Hamdallah I think I have leaved a good impression in Mie, my Supervisor offered me to take PhD for this year also. 2 times he asked me, but Idk, I’m not sure about that and just considering it first, I have another goal (esp to makes my mother happy, though I really wanna go to Japan and take PhD badly) but. I always believe. If there’s my chance t go back to Japan, or to take PhD then I’ll go back.

 

Thanks for everyone who always helped me. I owe you a lot.

Look at that picture : at least I proved that I’m the first one in my class who come to Mie University

TRY TO BE BLOG AUTHOR AGAIN - DOUBLE DEGREE MIE UNIVERSITY And ME

Warning !!!

Before you read this post, please notice, English wasn’t my first language! I’m Indonesian, but idk, somehow I just comfort to write in English eventhough it was this messy, just like this post.

OK there... see yaa :)

TRY TO BE BLOG AUTHOR AGAIN

DOUBLE DEGREE MIE UNIVERSITY

And ME

Hi there, I will start to writing again! Yeaaayyy!!! \(^^)/

Well, eventhough I knew there isn’t anybody who will read mine. This old and reckless journal.

But whatsoever, I wanna write again and maybe there will be posts that will flow like flood for now on. Um.. for little bit times perhaps.

Anyway, before I write about another News, regarding on my old writing, it seems I did not report my condition, didn’t I?

Um.. Where should I start?

Ah, present condition!

Now I’m being enrolled as graduated student of Environmental Science in University of Padjadjaran Bandung, Indonesia. How can I reach this level? Well~ it has a looong story.

I entered my undergraduate as fresh student in 2006 in University of Padjadjaran Majoring in Biology,

I’ve got my first title in academic as S.Si (Sarjana Sains) it is B.Sc.

My research is about Microbiology and Biotechnology, really~ I’ve more passion on that subjects.

But destiny told it ways, I graduated in May 2011 then I worked in a tourism company for one year as corporate secretary then continue my career in another company still in tourism areas (concerned in membership hotels) as administrator for another one year.

You know I’ve gained lot of money when I worked, I can pay the expensive restaurant, hang out in a cafe, shopping in a mall just with using your debt card, almost approved to get two credit cards for silver and gold, and use taxi without mind with the bills everytime, everywhere. That life is so pleasureable.

But something just missing in my life, what the heck with those kind of life?

Monday-Friday you were working from 9.00 AM till 07.00 PM or 08.00 PM? Or 9 or higher because I ever arrived in home at 10!!! Then what??? Saturday you just slept for whole day because of fatigue and on Sunday just hangout and spent your money??

Wait!!!! Hang on there a sec!! 

Then what's the essence I spent my times for almost 5 years in college?

What kind of experiment that I’ve done?I did research that caused my 3.5 years target of being graduated failed! So difficult, I just graduated 1,3 years next after that, it means I postponed my graduate day just because I did a reasearch for almost 1,3 years!!! (it’s 2 years technically) T__T

Thanks God it’s over, I’ve got trauma after that until I didn’t continue my passion. My passion about biology, technology, microbiology, and things such like that is gone, though science is my blood if you could understand that. Then I took those ways which is I’ve explained before (without thinking, so stubborn I am). 

But that was the destiny that showed it ways.

As I told it before, I didn’t get the essence from what I’ve done. A week, 24/7 in my life becomes really boring. I couldn’t imagine If I only doing that steps until I died. Yea of course inside of that I’m gonna married and having children, but beside that things, I dont want to life like that in my job career, I’m not a machine!!

Therefor, in the middle of my work the intention of science that bring the welfare for human being was appeared again. I’m not a wiser but I really wanna have a role in human’s life, I wanna be more useful for humanity and after all I wanna life as an academist. 

I wanna reach my dream to life as a scientist. After that I noted in my heart if I want and have to continue my study. I searched scholarship infos and kinds like that. My concerned is in biotechnology or biomedic or anything else about biology.

At that time I coincidentally called by my friend from my old college. Nadia Istiqomah. She said she will go to Japan as she has been approved as a student for a university in Japan.

Wait. Whatt???? How come???!! I wanna be like her! I want to!!

Then she told me everything, she said she’s attended as a student on Double Degre (DD) Program University of Padjadjaran, Indonesia – Mie University, Japan.

Wow, I surprised. Why? I didn’t know my university did that before.

My friend explained again, if there’s agreement of DD Program between Graduate Program of Environmental Science University of Padjadjaran with Twente Universiteit, The Netherlands dan ISS Erasmus, University The Netherlands (Netherland) and Mie University (Japan). 

Mie University - Japan

 

 

University of Twentee - Netherland

University of Padjadjaran, Indonesia,  (photo source : http://polarunpad.com/)

 

The system driven us to take course for two years, one year in home university then finished the rest credits in university abroad, and the cost for all college stuffs are free except living allowance, but the privilege for the one who take course in abroad, living allowance is totally free.

Umm.. first I didn’t got it, then she explained again this DD program under the scholarship from Indonesian Government, BU Kemendiknas to be correct. The candidate who won BU Kemendiknas will take this course for 2 years in Indonesia unless if we passed another selection, BU Kemendiknas will recommend us to take one year in abroad (Twentee or Mie). It means the competition to abroad wont over even after we obviously accepted by BU Kemendiknas. Netherland or Japan will decided by when we submitted our application, April for Netherland concentration on Resource Management Course and October for Rural Development and Conservation Course (just like spring or winter enrollment in abroad).

Well.. it doesn’t bad at all. I want to try it.

But this is environmental science, a bit far from my passion, this is more comprehens. I doubt at first, but once I thought again, this is the once in a lifetime chance, how can I passed it? October enrollment isn’t that bad, moreover I was born in a village so this course will help and I have a dream to be an useful person, don’t I? And this is JAPAN, country that I really admire and I always dreaming for about it.

In the end It decided. I submit my application and Thanks Allah SWT. I passed that entrance examination.

The course started in January through the matriculation in December. And now, it’s almost 5 months from that time. I’m busy with exams that almost held once a week, assignments, project etc..

Few weeks before I felt very tired because I’ve help my mother project whilst I’ve to do mine. I tired, sick etc.. But more I’m thinking about it more I realized how should I do.. I.. just have to show my Gratitude to My Lord, Alloh SWT.

I’ve done this far, I shouldn’t have to give up. I have to reach my dream and help my family with this effort. I have to. I know I am still inside this competition, but hey... competition in our life will never ending. We have to compete to be a good person and even we have to compete with ourselves, we have to be a better person each time. Wish me luck everyone...

Well.. That’s My Own Story for now.

Umm...

The website of my college, my program and my next program abroad (ameen) are below.

Thanks for reading everyone.

University of Padjadjaran, Bandung, Indonesia 

Mie University, Mie Prefecture, Japan 

University of Twentee, Netherland 

Graduate Program of Environmental Science, University of Padjadjaran (Unpad) 

The Commodity and Characteristic of Fruits and Vegetables Trade

Anyone ever heard about “Trading of Fruit and Vegetable”? Yup, I think you’ve heard that, that trading always happened around us. On the big scale the trade for any commodities happened between countries, commonly it was called as Import and Export, for some reason, somehow I definitely sure that you’ve known it.

 

By the way, the reason why I will say about fruits and vegetables trading in this time, it’s because of I just got lecture from Mr. Hiromi Tokua from Mie University,Japan on the 17th of December.  Yup, Mr. Hiromi came with several professors from Mie University to PSMIL Bandung (Enviromental Science Graduate School, Unpad. Bandung). I will tell about Mie University and PSMIL Unpad in another post later ^^

At that time Mr. Hiromi explained to us about “The Commodity and Characteristic of Fruits and Vegetables Trade”. He explained us if this trading happened between countries because every countries can or can not produce some commodities. On my opinion, they will import or export the goods that they’re concern for. It’s a vice versa treatment, depend on they needed that or not.

In my lecture, I’ve got some information if this Trading business growing since 1990’s and this business around the world still dominated by US (United States) even until 2009. And I’ve got explanation why this Trading business successed just in several countries. 

 “The trade depend on the culture of consumption”. For example Mr. Hiromi said if in Japan the way eating apples different with some countries. In Japan, apples commonly eaten by slice it first, bite an apple directly was prohibited. This stlye happened because of the size of the apples that growing in Japan. And there is so many more another cultures that was diferent between countries. That’s why trader in this industry must knew and adapt that culture.

Based on my said recently it shown us, no matter how the country has produced many commodities that prospect to be imported or exported. It is a must, for trader in this industry that the first thing that should be do is a research about applicant of the market that will be targeted. Which means the crops that will be trade have to suitable and accepted by others.

This business has bright prospect in future, many countries still have lack of commodities that they needed. It’s because we are living in the different places with different season, that’s why any country in other side of this earth will keep persistent to looking for the commodity with good commodity and high quality and of course must suitable with their culture.
In the end of my lecture I have conclusion that Mr. Hiromi said it to us : 
  

1. The trade of vegetable and fruits has largely developed since 1990’s.
2. The trade of vegetable and fruit has some characteristic which are limitation on globalization of vegetable and fruit.
3. The volume proportion of trade of Vegetables and Fruits with production is still low.
4. And a large part of vegetable and fruit are produced mainly for the producer first.

Okay. That’s all about my lesson. I’m sorry for my gramatical errors because English wasn’t my mother language. And I admit if I still lack of information. It’s just about my lessons and thanks God I still can save that little lessons in between my sleepyness #whacked.

But thank you so much for reading this. Please confirm me or tell me if you take any information from this post. I really appreciate it. Thank you. #bow