DREAM TRAPPER

 

Haiiiiiiiiiii!!!! watashi desu!!! mou, ohisashiburi jyanai desuka?

Sou da ne… mada mada wasuretetta!

Aaa!!! Ano… kyou wa atashi no kimochi sugokuu hontou ni kanashii desu!

Naze desuka? Sou, kore da ne…

 

hahaha….don’t you understand what am I saying? nope. so do I. I just said it ramdomnly.

Oke, if I translate it, it would be like this. I am feeling so sad.

You know exactly what I mean.

Yes. It’s still regarding the latest issue. the DD program. and my ruined heart. LOL. in case you forget read here

Finally my friends, 4 of them. Ugun, Septa, Adel, and Indra got the DD scholarship in Mie Univ, Japan.

That’s my dream that will never be filled. Because now I’m here, in my graduate course and have to graduate soon as what that scholarship giver say it to me. Here. In my Indonesia Campus and try to get my master – M.Il, Master Ilmu Lingkungan (Master of Environmentalist –eng) soon.

Yes, I’ve to work hard to achieve that for next months later. Wish me luck minna <3

But, I can not lie, I can not hide that I really wanna study in Japan badly and try to be graduated in Japanese Podium, Japanese Ceremonial and Using Japanese outfit for graduation, and also a Parchment about my license in Japanese!!!! aaaaa… it’s so dorama-ish. I wanna try that one!!! LOL.

Fortunately or unfortunately, idk which one is right, I can not afford that for my master degree.

Then my only chance is must get PhD from Japan, but PhD is too long 3-4 years and it will takes years which commonly ordinary Indonesian girl like me have to continue her life such as marriage toka have children toka have permanent job toka arimasu.

Tbh I can study master again if I want, in my mayor that I wanna study it badly. Biomedical. but I have spent this time for so long, so I don’t wanna waste my time and choose this way, that Allah has choose for me.

yes. I will continue my concern as environmentalist. hope this mayor could bring me to make sustainable environment for humankind and also for my allowance/money. LOL.

OK, back to the real reason why I wrote this.

Anyway, I still couldn’t move on. Mada Shinjirarenai naaa Atashi.

I still couldn’t believe if I wasn’t choosed as DD’s candidate, I say I’m the diligent-est and smartest among my friends *liar* or maybe that’s the truth. I become someone who feel overconfident and in the end, God punished me to makes me wake up if there’re power that stronger than me or strongest among all. God,Allah SWT.

so I understood if the time wasn’t mine. I couldn’t do anything as I want.

Forgive me ya Allah, Yaa Razak. Yaa Ghafuur.

Hence, to healing this “pain” I try to move closer to my God, try to be nice and listen people’s suggestion about healing my heart’s hurt.

at first I have an Idea to letting go my dreams off. but… now… I realized, I Have to keep this dreams until it’s becomes true. But don’t make it with high expectation or I will fall down down down again.

there’s a quote : “simple things become complicated when you expect too much”

So OK. I will obey that rule, with stay putting my dream hanging and I’ll try to reach it.

Back to this tittle “dream trapper” what was that?

Actually idk what was that for exactly, it’s just my terminology that I made to make a hope/motivation inside myself.

I always say if I am the dream catcher, so I will do that, but…. my thesis of  collecting insect using a trap give me an idea. How if I catch my dream using a trap?

OK, you’ll think I’m insane indeed, but, psychologically or religiously, finally I found a way.

Dream = work + pray + luck.

Dream = pray/work/luck.

I did all of that formulas, in the end, I failed twice ; first when I have no pray, 2nd when I have no luck/pray.

So, after I read some publication, in the end I knew if pray is the most important thing than all, I mean it must be no.1 priority.

In my religion, we knew if word could be turn into pray, and we need to ask Allah to guide us in the right way.

because of that, all the fails plan that makes me down is Allah’s way to wake me if there’s something to be founded by me down there and use it to go upper.

And there’s some stories that mentioned if word finally turned to be reality.

So I will do a game about dat, ups I mean an experiment.

I will write my dreams here, and let’s see if this thing could turn into reality or not. this one I called it, a trapper. OK. I will update and cite this article if one of these dream comes true. but if it wasn’t I will update it too. actually there’s no limited times to say, but I will try for one year first.

I am in Kinkakuji, Kyoto. My lovely city and I hope will live in there someday.

What dream that will be written? Ok here we go…. (now, all this dream is related to my passion to take a degree above master level. Ok, I said here we go again.

1. I wanna go to Japan again this year!!! (2015)!

2. This autumn and winter in 2015, I will go to Japan again (esp. Kyoto).

3. I will have PhD in Japan

4. I will take PhD from Kyoto University.

5. or, I will take PhD from Mie University, if they are offering me again for the 3rd times!

6. If Mie University offered again for the PhD to me, it means it’s 3rd times and there’s no reason for rejected it again.

OK only those things those things tha I wanna say, keep calm and keep healthy minna

Wish me luck, if I win then I will share my happiness to to you guys and I’ll pray for you  = my best friend.